"If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear. -George Orwell."
 

"Virtue is its own reward, but then so is sin!"
 

"When choosing between two evils I always like to take the one I've never tried before. -West, Mae."
 

"Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit."
 

"There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it. -Shaw, George Bernard."
 

"Humanity either makes, or breeds, or tolerates all its afflictions. -H.G. Wells."
 

 "The point of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his. -Gen. George Patton"
 

 "The good die young - because they see it's no use living if you've got to be good."
 

"If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. -Youngman, Henny"
 

"To believe is very dull. To doubt is intensely engrossing. To be on the alert is to live, to be lulled into security is to die. -Wilde, Oscar"
 

 "Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit. -Maugham, W. Somerset"
 

"It is easier to fight for principles than to live up to them. -Adler, Alfred"
 

"Theory: when you have ideas. Ideology: when ideas have you."
 

"The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions. -Chapelain, Maurice"
 

"Man is ready to die for an idea, provided that idea is not quite clear to him. -Eldridge, Paul"
 

"Virtuous people often revenge themselves for the constraints to which they submit by the boredom which they inspire. -Gustave Le Bon"
 

"Truth is so hard to tell, it sometimes needs fiction to make it plausible. -Runes, Dagobert D."
 

"Military secrets are the most fleeting of all. -Spock."
 

"I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it. -West, Mae"
 

 "The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. -Wilde, Oscar"
 

"Ah, well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means. - Oscar Wilde, dying words"
 

 "Go away...I'm alright. - H. G. Wells, dying words"
 

 "Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something. - Pancho Villa, dying words"
 

"Why yes -- a bulletproof vest. - James Rodges, murderer, on his final request before the firing squad"
 

"Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand. - Charles Pierce"
 

"The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting. - Gloria Leonard"
 

 "Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. - Woody Allen"
 

 "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles Schultz"
 

 "Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past. - George Orwell"
 

"Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror. - Byrd Baggett"
 

"The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready. - Henry David Thoreau"
 

"Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world. - George Bernard Shaw"
 

"We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves. - Tom Robbins"
 

"He that always gives way to others will end in having no principles of his own. - Aesop"
 

"It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail. - Gore Vidal"
 

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. - Albert Einstein"
 

 "... I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. - Thomas Edison"
 

"Good judgement comes from experience, and experience--well, that comes from poor judgement. - Cousin Woodman"
 

"We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience. - George Bernard Shaw"
 

 "After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post. - Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island"
 

"We didn't send you to Washington to make intelligent decisions. We sent you to represent us. - Kent York, Baptist minister to US Rep. Bill Sarpalius"
 

"I cannot imagine any condition which would cause this ship to founder. Modern shipbuilding has gone beyond that. - E. I. Smith, Captain of the Titanic"
 

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. - Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign"
 

"The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe. - Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia"
 

"I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and members of the Senate. - Dan Quayle, Former Vice-Preside"
 

"When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you don't know. He knows now that he doesn't know. Last year, he didn't know that. - Bill Parcels, New England Patriots head coach, on 2nd year quarter-back Drew Bledsoe"
 

 "Well, I think that it's a- it's had some difficult times but I think we have- we, I think, have been able to make some very good progress and it's- I would say that it's- it's- it's delightful that we're able to- to share the time and the relationship that we- that we do share. - Edward Kennedy, U.S. Senator, during a 4 November 1979 interview with Roger Mudd trying to answer the question 'What is the present state of your marriage?'"
 

"He didn't say that. He was reading what was given to him in a speech. - Richard Darman, director of OMB, explaining why President Bush wasn't following up on his campaign pledge that there would be no loss of wetlands"
 

"There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry. - George Armstrong Custer"
 

 "Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway. - Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board"
 

 "You can observe a lot by watching. - Yogi Berra"
 

 "We have only one person to blame, and that's each other. - Barry Beck, New York Ranger, on who started a fight furing a hockey game"
 

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. - Marion Barry, Mayor, Washington, D.C."
 

 "I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up. - Tom Lehrer"
 

 "A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done. - Fred Allen"
 

"A narcissist is someone better-looking than you are. - Gore Vidal"
 

 "The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid. - Richard Braunstein"
 

 "Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess. - Oscar Wilde"
 

"Sin is a dangerous toy in the hands of the virtuous. It should be left to the congenitally sinful, who know when to play with it and when to let it alone. - H. L. Mencken"
 

"I hate mankind, for I think myself to be one of them, and I know how bad I am. - Samuel Johnson"
 

 "I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest. - Alexandre Dumas pere"
 

"Repentance is not so much remorse for what we have done as the fear of the consequences. - François de La Rouchefoucauld"
 

"The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more. - Woody Allen"
 

"Women: If they're not turning down your proposals for marriage, they're accusing you of suspicious behavior in the women's lingerie changing room. - Cliff Clavin"
 

"You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. - Mark Twain"
 

"Discovery consists of looking at the same thing as everyone else does and thinking something different. - Albert Szent-Gyorgyi"
 

"Every act of creation is first an act of destruction. - Pablo Picasso"
 

"If everybody is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking. - George S. Patton, Jr."
 

 "I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones. - John Cage"
 

 "Most people are more comfortable with old problems than with new solutions."
 

"Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep. - Scott Adams"
 

 "You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses. - Ziggy"
 

 "A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude. - Oscar Wilde"
 

"My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov"
 

"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. - W. C. Fields"
 

 "The optimist sees opportunity in every danger; the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity. - Winston Churchil"
 

 "The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true. - James Branch Cabell"
 

 "When people have no other tyrant, their own public opinion becomes one. - Edward Bulwer-Lytton"
 

"Jealousy is the only vice that gives no pleasure"
 

 "Whining is not only graceless, but can be dangerous. It can alert a brute that a victim is in the neighborhood. - Maya Angelou"
 

"Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power. - P. J. O'Rourke"
 

"I just need enough to tide me over until I need more. - Bill Hoest"
 

 "Everyone believes very easily whatever they fear or desire. - Jean de La Fontaine"
 

 "Early to Bed, and Early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and BORING! Suicidal Tendancies"
 

"Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. - Susan Ertz"
 

"What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. - Dave Barry"
 

"Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in Heaven. - P. J. O'Rourke"
 

"The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it. - P. J. O'Rourke"
 

"When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. - P. J. O'Rourke"
 

"I couldn't remember when I had been so disappointed. Except perhaps the time I found out that M&Ms really do melt in your hand... - Peter Oakley"
 

"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Bill Watterson, in his comic strip Calvin and Hobbes"
 

"When women go wrong, men go right after them. - Mae West"
 

"The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything. Except what is worth knowing. Journalism, conscious of this, and having tradesman-like habits, supplies their demands. - Oscar Wilde"
 

"The sun knew not what seat he had The stars knew not what stead they held The moon knew not what might she had (Volupsa)"
 

"Young was I once and went alone And wandering lost my way When a friend I found I felt me rich Man is cheered by man (Havamal)"
 

"Many a man lives where there is little hope (Volsung Saga)"
 

"I will not flee Though death-fated you know I am I was not conceived as a coward I will have all of your loving advice As long as I live (Volsung Saga)"
 

"The tester of shields came south To bring home the tools of war To the prayer-forge In the poet-warrior's breast Then the tester of battle-faith Brought the hammer of death Crashing down on the anvil Of Vetrlidi's head (Njal's Saga)"
 

"I do not mind mocking the gods For I think Freyja's a bitch It must be one or the other Either Odin's a dog or else Freyja (Njal's Saga)"
 

"The greedy guest gainsays his head And eats until he is ill; His belly oft maketh a butt of a man On bench midst the sage when he sits (Havamal)"
 

"I'd hate to waste a good threat"